


In the name of Don Pines

by Chacw



Series: The chronicle of a quiet demon who gets caught up in other people's problems [6]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Transcendence (Gravity Falls)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 03:26:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14926214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chacw/pseuds/Chacw
Summary: Cherry and Lucy Ann go out and have some fun.





	In the name of Don Pines

“We just arrived on scene, word is a cult was trying to summon something really bad.”

As the cop cars pulled up to the ware house on the outskirts of portland what they saw surprised them more then a raging demon, or crazed cultists. When the cars stopped and the police stepped out guns raised to the door, the door slowly swung open stepping out was a blood soaked redhead with her long hair tied back, next to her was an equally blood soaked thing standing waist high next to her. All the guns raised to point at her, she paused and put her hands on her hips while a lopsided grin started to spread across her face.

“The were going to be sacrifices are currently huddling together in the back corner, I think they’re ok, I mean I left them with mugs of hot cocoa and warm not very blood soaked blankets, all 56 cultists are dead too, I left their ids on their foreheads after I colored bad mustaches on them.”

“Who. The. Fuck. Are. You.” One of the police offices said with a forceful calm in his voice.

“Chief, that’s uh, did you ever read that debrief that went out a couple months ago about the clean up for the missing children case? That’s Cherry, all information on her first appearance have gone missing along with all supposed memory of it, but what we do know is that she is fucking scary as hell and works under Don Pines.”

“Well shit,” The chief whispered, “What are you doing here Cherry?”

“The Don wanted this cult cleaned out, he sent me to do it.”

“You said there were 56 cultists, did you really kill them all yourself?”

“Of course, and if you could excuse me, the Don wanted me over for dinner tonight.”

“So your not going to let us arrest you?” said one of the cops in the back.

“You can try.” A wicked grin crossed her face as she hissed this out.

“Stand down men, she just single handedly killed 56 armed cultists, we can't take her.”

“Well I did have Chewy here to help me, who’s a good boy? Yes you are Chewy! Lets go clean that blood off you before dinner.”

With that she turned and calmly walked down to the curb, got onto her motorcycle that all police officers could agree wasn't there a second ago, and left to go have dinner with the Don.

All the surviving victims gave wildly different stories about what happened, one said “Like hell man, we woke up bond to the wall and chained up next to me was here, she just sat there and started laughing, she stood up and her chains disappeared and then with her bare hands started killing all the cultists, just her hands, they had guns and fucking longswords, why the hell would they have longswords? But what I could tell about the summon was they were going to summon the one who was responsible for the 10,000 missing children, when she was done she turned to us and just gave us mugs of cocoa after unshackling us, at some point I think it was a dog, joined her in the fight, I don’t know what the the hell she did, but im safe because of her.”

A little girl told police “We were all scared, the evil men said we were going to be sacrificed for Charity, that’s not that charitable the women said as she busted down the door on her mighty furry friend, it was so cute. It had fluffy fur and a long fluffy tail, it’s mouth was full of teeth and it was so cute! But she came and as soon as she was there all the bad people just fell over, no blood, no violence, they just collapsed.” There was a lot of blood at the crime scene there was even written on the wall in three foot tall streaks of blood the message “The Don commands it”

An elderly lady said “She came in, staying hidden from the cultist and unchained us, then giving each of us a nice mug of tea lead us to a safe room, you found us there, when we were taken out all the cultist were dealt with.” There were no doors other then the front ones.

None of the 15 different stories matched, some with impossible feats like armies of gnomes, or her growing a second pair of arms and wielding four pistols. The bodies told many stories as well, if there was a way to die, at least one body died that way, hell an autopsy said one died of a brain tumor six hours before the cult bashing even began. No one could understand who this Cherry is, but if she is working for Don Pines. No one wants to think about how bad a motherfucker he must be then.

Hank looked up from his mug of tea, slipping his feet back into his fuzzy slippers he stood up, somehow he knew, that someone somewhere was quivering in terror thinking about him, still caught up in this weird moment his front door opened up and Cherry stepped in.

“Hey Hank, just had the best time Cult bashing, wanna hear about it?”

“Oh your early, dinner won't be ready for another 20 minutes, besides Lucy Ann and the others haven't shown up yet.” Hank said while staring at the elbow high coating of blood on Cherry’s hands.

“To be honest I thought cleaning the blood off Chewy would have taken longer, but after a good cult bashing you can never know how imbedded blood can be in fur.”

“Cult bashing? Should I call the crew to help clean it up?”

“Nah the police showed up right as I was leaving, even left ID on all 56 corpses. On a completely different note: If your infamy rises significantly in the next, say three hours, it wasn't me, blame the cops on scene”  
Ignoring the fact that Chewy was perfectly clean while Cherry was still almost drenched in blood he sighed and stated, “What did they do? And can you please clean up before dinner.”

“Somehow, I’m not sure how, but somehow they managed to get ahold of my symbol and were trying to summon me, wasn't half bad a circle either, lots of people to sacrifice too, but i’m not letting my existence to be know again, I spent to long erasing it.”

“It’s not like you wear it on your hat, oh wait, yes you do and it's the only part of you that doesnt have blood on it.”

“Ok point made, but how am I supposed to see otherwise? It's not like I have eyes.” This was a lie, she could see perfectly fine even without “eyes” but Hank didn’t know that.

“Go clean up please, I dont want blood in my house, the neighbors are already terrified of me.”

“They’re good people, I stopped and said hi to one while he was cleaning his car. He said you were the single best neighbor in the neighborhood and that he would never start trouble for you.” 

Before Hank could reply to that the front door opened to reveal Lucy Ann.

“Hey Lucy Ann! For some reason Hanky-wanky here wants me to clean up before dinner. Like I spent the last 30 minutes cleaning Chewy, you want me to go near soap again? Not happening.”

Staring at the perfectly clean Chewy then over to the obviously blood soaked Cherry, Lucy Ann put on a small grin and said “But Cherry, The Don commands it.”

“Ooh, word spreads fast, I’m bored, the Dinner crew meeting will be boring, wanna go eat some people?”

“Let me check my schedule, Yo Hank how important is tonight?”

“Not very, feel free to go, but the next time I see either of you I don’t want to see or smell blood on either of you.”

“Ok Hank.” the two girls said in unison.

\-----------------------

‘So Cherry, where you wanna go?’

“I have another cult we could break up, apparently they found ‘A demon to control Alcor for us.’ Even though there are no demons in the world besides me who could do that, ok thats a lie. but I’m thinking that I could pop in and utterly destroy their favourite demon, and you can sneakily kill everyone one by one, I think there's like twelve cultists, plus if we leave the leader free to run in terror we can boost Hank’s scariness again today, oh but do leave some bodies for me, I am skipping dinner too.”

“So we go in, sneakily kill everyone but the leader, and have the authorities freak out over our power, which will make them freak out over how powerful hank is.”

“You understand me perfectly Lucy Ann, now wanna go have some fun?”

\------------------

“The sacrifices are ready sir, tell the word and the chanting shall start.”

“Good, the world will be ours. Start the chanting.”

“W̴͝h̷̕ơ̛͟ d̵e̴̡ar̶̕s̶͠ ͝t̨o ̸͡s͟u͞͞m͘͜m̕͠o̢͢͠n̷͘ m̨͏e,͜ ̕͜t͘h͏e ̴̴k҉i͝ll͝e͜r͜͞ ̨̡o̧̨f̢͏͠ ̶͜ ̷͝͠lo̧v̷̢̨e,̸͟ th̸̡e ̸̸t͢h͡i̢͜ef̷̧̕ ̧o̵͢f̵͢ joy͠, W͜͝Ḩ̴̶O ҉̢͢D͏E̴A̵͜͞R̡͝͝S ͜Ş̢U̴̧͝M̴M̶̡O̷͠N҉ ҉̸HA̴̴I͟͢RT̸͘͢Ḩ҉̢T҉R͢͠͏A̡͡C̴͟K̵͘͜ ̸T̷̨HĘ̷̵ ̴̛HA̸T̡ȨF͟͏̧U̵L̛͞"

“Oh might-” but before he could finish graveling a large blue door appeared next to the demon and was burst open by Chewy, who promptly began to battle Hairthtrack.

“Sorry for the interruption boys, but my pet here is missing dinner so I thought we could stop by and save your lives for the moment. While those two are busy is there anything I could do to help you?”

Meanwhile Lucy Ann has snuck in the back and killed the first cultist.

“You show great power redhead, tell me how you control such a powerful monster and I will give you the riches of the world.”

“Meh, I mean if I wanted the riches of the world I could take them myself, how about this. You, the skinny guy next to this boring one, I'll tell you specifically it if you give me the most valuable treasure you have.”

“I- I’ll be able to- to take over the world with powers like those.” He stuttered while pointing at Chewy cleaning his paws over the corpse of a demon.

“You have a deal.”

With that the shook hands and Cherry leaned in and whispered “I don’t control him, he’s just my friend.” And before the cultist could react Cherry leaned over and ripped his soul out.

“Oh by the way Lucy Ann, feel free to stuff yourself, I got something better. Oh and mister cult leader, the cops should be here in three, two, one.” Sirens were now blaring loudly outside.

Cherry pulled a spray can out of nowhere and on the wall behind the dying demon wrote “The Don commands it.”

“Ok Lucy Ann lets go, feel free to take a spare arm or something for the walk back to Hank’s.”

Lucy Ann smiled and ripped the arm off the body at her feet and sank her fangs into it.

Walking outside Cherry perked up and almost screamed “ OH hey, It’s you guys again, fyi there's 11 dead cultists, a dead demon, and a truly freaked out cult leader in there. Enjoy your night.” With a pleasant grin a blood soaked Lucy Ann and a still blood soaked Cherry walked away, disembodied arm in hand.

“What. The. Actual. Fuck.” The same police chief said looking at the new crime scene.

\------------

The next morning Hank turned on the news to hear “Don Pines clearing cultist out of Portland, who is this new Cherry Pines?” Sighing Hank paused to read the small text going across the bottom of the screen. “Does Don Pines have a demonic sibling? How strong are they compared to Alcor? Does Don Pines use her to control Alcor? All this and more at 11.” Letting out a chuckle Hank said to no one in particular “This is going to be fun to watch.”

“Why do you think I do this?” Cherry responded from the couch.


End file.
